Meet the Stickler

Main Focus: Need for order and perciseness, even perfectionism in some cases

Characteristics: Punctual, methodical, perfectionist,tense, opinionated, sarcastic, irritable. Highly critical of self and others. Need for self-control. Cleans up after others because they do not do it right or do not put things where they belong or how they belong. Can be very sensitive to criticism.

Thoughts: Black and white thinking, there are no shades of grey. If you can't do it right, then don't do it at all. Put things back where you got it and how you got it. Things don't get done right if I am not the one doing it. Mistakes are bad.

Feelings: Constanly feeling disappointed and frustrated with themselves and others for not living up to high standards. Anxious that others will not do things correctly or mess up the system I created to make things run smoothly. Holds in anger and frustration and expresses it in sarcasm or self-righteousness.

Lies They Tell You: It is my job to keep everything maintained and orderly. I am the only one who puts things back the right way. Perfectionism is good.

Impact on Self and Others: Makes it harder to accept and adapt to change or others' styles. can have resentment, anxiety, self-doubt judges others. Others can feel inferior, judged, and constantly criticized. Can feel that no matter what they do it will never be good enough for the Stickler.

Original Survival Function: The Stickler is good at quieting self-judgment and the fear of others passing judgment by trying to be particular and perfect. Being particular and having order brings temporary relief and something that lacks chaos in chaotic situations. Childhood experiences could have lacked organization, cleanliness, or consistency. This could also be a way to gain affection or acceptance from emotionally distant or demanding parents.